This guy talks sooo slowly. Can't speed up. The story involves old tape recordings, new videos, fruit, a cat, and of course parents. Then there's the outside, the inside, and the inside out.

Like....2Barbara Green and Meredith Moeckel
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Meredith Moeckel Stan dear friend I really enjoyed watching & listening to this video (And I guess that I'm one of your 2 followers! smile emoticon ) I really do appreciate the efforts you've taken & continue to take in the process of trying not to be so very shy.. I will honestly say that there are definitely some people who get impatient with those who talk slowly (My father always talked very slow but since he.loved telling quite impressive stories, I guess people accepted it . Many times it drove me nuts, but I never let on).

As I've told you before I used to be extremely shy (and I'm sure that I was when you met me eons ago! ). What really helped me to get over my shyness was in my earlier years (beginning at age 16), my dad began taking me to bars. We all know that after drinking some beers etc , our shyness is really lessened. To make a long story short, I used to binge drink while in university, and throughout my 20s to mid 30s. Then one day I awakened without wanting to drink anymore. If. I went out I'd drink water, but I realized that I'd lost most of my shyness by simply remembering the false courage I'd developed over the years. 

(I shouldn't have began this long reply from my cellphone darnit! It's kinda hard to do justice in the tiny screen, so please forgive me!). Make a long story short, over the years I became more of an extrovert because I'd learned that I love helping people & also love meeting new people. I best stop here since I can only review 4 lines of type! I must promise myself not to even try to comment on such a deep subject on my cell! And I hope some of what I tried to explain makes some sense! 

I really admire your approach to trying to become more comfortable with yourself. Not everyone has the desire or ability to think as deeply as you do. Please give yourself a big pat on the back from me! Hugs smile emoticon
Like · Reply · 5 hrs

Meredith Moeckel P.S. in my 1st paragraph I meant to say that I am 1 of your 2 subscribers on YouTube, so I'll see your videos!
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Stan Burfield Thanks, Meredith. I wish more people would make long comments. I may be wrong but I think most people who are not shy have been highly socialized since they were young, taught by experience and the ones they grew up with, to not overexpose themselves, not from fear, but just from the understanding that anything said can be taken wrong by somebody. My problem is that I didn't learn anything like that when I was young, just a general fear, so that when I eventually lost much of the fear, during this past year or two, I suddenly find myself with very few inhibitions from saying any old thing I feel like. I open my mouth and it all comes out non-stop. The dam broke. I'm aware of the dangers of that, so I'm trying to socialize myself as rapidly as I can. My number one rule so far is to not hurt anyone else in the process. I tell myself that I could have been born that person myself, so I try to not say anything negative about any person or group of people or belief. And, interestingly, the more I censor myself like that, the more strongly I realize the real injustice of thinking anyone is somehow less than anyone else. They're not. And the corollary of that is that no one is superior to anyone else. This is just as true, but more difficult to accept and believe because we always want to look up to certain people. I'm at the place right now where I'm trying to keep both things in my head at once somehow, that no one is superior to anyone else, but also that I appreciate some people more than others. There must be a way of doing that without being a hypocrite, but I'm not sure what it is yet. The best I can come up with is that no one can be a superior human to any one else, but that they can DO certain things better than some other people can. For instance, I can wobble my ears better than most people can. Anyway, what I'm getting at, Meredith, is that I really love to see a comment that's more than a few words long. Please do it again. (And I really enjoyed your story of how you lost your shyness. My father was a tea-totaller, so your method wouldn't work with me, alas!)
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Meredith Moeckel I really enjoyed reading this, and I'm sorry to say that I'm reading this on my cell. I'd like to write more, but shall refrain. That's cute with you saying your dad was a tea-totaller. Believe me, my dad was far from being 'normal', a word I really hate to use! Suffice it to say that he was in his 40's during the 70's, and into all that was popular during those times. As he said to me many years later, "I had no business being a parent! ". I was a rebellious teen, and went to live with him when 15. OMG I'm going to stop here! Take care!
Like · Reply · 33 mins

Stan Burfield Well, you turned out pretty good. Just goes to show that as big of an impact as our parents have on us, we have an even bigger one.
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Stan Burfield Meredith, do you remember James at the house in Chinatown? Like your father, he would tell these very long, slow stories, and everyone would listen patiently waiting for the excruciatingly-interesting conclusion he was obviously leading to, only to find that it was just a very dumb pun. And then he would do this strange gurgling chuckle at our sudden irritation with having been forced to listen all that time for nothing.
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Meredith Moeckel No I really don't remember a whole lot back then. I really don't remember how long I lived with Terry. Plus, since I was only 16 I'm sure that my memories were somehow different from the rest of you! ... if this makes sense? !
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Stan Burfield Yup. Makes sense. And I don't think you were there too long.
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Linda Eva Williams I don't remember a James - do you mean Jim Brander?
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Stan Burfield Yeah, Jim Brander.
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Al Broudy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qvrh73BVraE


Bob and Ray Slow Talkers

One of the funniest sketches of the last Century.
YOUTUBE.COM
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Stan Burfield Hilarious! Yes, that's how I feel watching myself talk! I even cross my legs like that to stall for time. ha ha
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Jenny Getsinger I will never forget that slide show you gave that took two long evenings, but it was worth every minute (about the canoe trip from Calgary to Quebec City). Here's to slow talking and reading!
Like · Reply · 1 · 56 mins · Edited

Stan Burfield Ha ha! That's very sweet of you, Jenny. I think I called it "Big Slide Show". I'm surprised you remember it. Not only was it slow, it had literally none of the elements normally employed to keep an audience's attention. And the slides: some birds, a river, some people around a camp fire, a river, the front of a canoe, a river, a cliff, a river...
Like · Reply · 2 · 46 mins

Jenny Getsinger And the dog looking in puddles for fish. Metaphorical for all those things we do once and win at, and then keep looking for the rest of our lives (we had a FB thread about that). The other day, that story in the news about the reserve with kids who had...See more
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Stan Burfield Wow. So good!
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Stan Burfield Yes, I'm feeling strongly the difference between my life and those of the younger people. When I was young, I thought very little of how life was then. It was just normal life. We were all striving for the future. But now that the future is here, that missing past is so much more real. There definitely are a lot of stories from those days that are no longer possible. One obvious example was the freedom we had hitchhiking all around the continent. No one will see that again. I should bring back some of those stories into the present.
Like · Reply · 2 · 27 mins

Meredith Moeckel OMG! I could also share some hitchhiking stories too.. I'm very grateful that I had no bad experiences, that's for sure! Goodnight
Like · Reply · 1 · 24 mins

Jenny Getsinger Telling stories is important, even if they take a long time. If you are ever in Vancouver again, drop in and we'll have a story night or something. In people's homes.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 23 mins

Stan Burfield Meredith Moeckel Yes, you lucked out. You were a very attractive girl and yet had no problem. Which just shows how peaceful the whole culture was then.
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Jenny Getsinger Stan, have you read Rebecca Solnit's book on Walking? She said something like that as well, about the popularity of walking in the early 1800s. There was a lot of public safety then and it made walking in nature more popular. It's also about doing things slowly.
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Stan Burfield Sounds like a good book. I'll look for it. I still do a lot of walking. Every day. And climb the stairs when I get home.
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Meredith Moeckel
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Stan Burfield Thanks for the roses, Meredith.
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Jenny Getsinger Did you know that students at Harvard used to walk over to Ralph Waldo Emerson's house in Concord, just to have a conversation with him? It's about 18 miles (29 km) each way. They would spend the night, too.
Like · Reply · 24 mins

Stan Burfield Wow. 18 miles is a good hike. I averaged about 15 on my long hike. But that was with a heavy back pack, about 50 pounds.
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7Adam Abbas, Lynn Tait and 5 others
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Robert Gregory Seaton Hilarious and a little poignant, Stan.
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 12 March at 16:53

Stan Burfield I've got a few more of these up my sleeve. Glad you liked it.
Like · Reply · 1 · 12 March at 16:56

Meredith Moeckel I'm now officially your first & so far your only subscriber! smile emoticon I thoroughly enjoyed watching this Stan. Perhaps it's time to put some more goodies in your safe. I also like your 'man cave' & all your goodies from years gone by. Perhaps you'll have more subscribers in awhile. Thanks for sharing this!
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 12 March at 18:42

Stan Burfield Well, at least a few of the local poetry people might get some answers. They've been living here most if not all their lives, and suddenly I pop up with the big poetry open mic series. One guy I featured in the first season accosted me at one of the tables during intermission, stared at me, and said, "Who ARE you?" ...uh, just some nobody farm boy. Why?
Like · Reply · 1 · 12 March at 19:00

Meredith Moeckel Please stop downplaying yourself dear Stan!
Like · Reply · 12 March at 19:09

Stan Burfield I know what you're saying. Linda says that to me too. The way I look at it is that I'm trying to see who I really am. It's a hard thing to find. What I know for sure is that I'm not one of society's ideas of an amazing human being. On the other hand, y...See more
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Linda Eva Williams How wonderful to see and hear you "in person"!!
Like · Reply · 14 March at 00:01

Stan Burfield ha ha. It's been a long time!
Like · Reply · 14 March at 00:07
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Linda Eva Williams And I enjoy the stream-of-consciousness approach. Not edited, just you with your hypnotic voice. And I agree about the funny bits, like struggling with your box: "I'm not as smart as I used to be".
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 14 March at 00:07

Stan Burfield What I liked about it most was just being myself. And really what I am, I guess, more than anything, is the small things in my life. It's fun to do that.
Like · Reply · 14 March at 00:10

Linda Eva Williams So, when you have a moment, please try something akin to this again.
Like · Reply · 14 March at 00:31

Stan Burfield Okay. My sister says I should pull out the books in my bookcase. I said, I could title it, "The books I haven't read,", and you know, talk about why I bought them, maybe.
Like · Reply · 14 March at 00:36

Here are a few questions culled from Mindful magazine.

1. Do I have more problems prioritizing my work and activities than most people I know? 

Answer. Over these many decades I have often prioritized my work and activities. And I have often worked on the highest-priority item on each list, followed by something else, then other things. Many of the items on each list, and many others, do always get done, but seldom in the desired sequence. So, yes, I suppose so.

2. Do I have more trouble planning ahead than almost anyone else I know? 

Answer. I would like to think that I live in the moment, except that I seldom do that either. I do make plans, but they tend to become buried by other papers. Sometimes I find the plans, but usually after the do dates. If I tape or pin a plan to the desk directly in front of my head, I will always forget to look in that direction until it's too late. So, yes, I suppose so.

3 Do I very frequently make careless mistakes and fail to finish tasks on time?

Answer. Well, for example, when I write poems or bits of prose to post for all my very literate friends to read, I doubt that I make any more careless mistakes than they do on their own first drafts. But then I carelessly post them. And mixed in with my oh so clever turns of phrase are always a generous number of grammatical blunders and typos. I edit later, after my literate friends have had their chuckle. Why do I post them unedited? The term usually used is high impulsivity. But it may just be that I'm so excited to have written them. Usually I put off tasks until the last possible minute. For instance the summary and photos of the last open mic have been patiently waiting to be put to paper for nearly a week now. I will be excited the moment it's done. So, yes, frequently, frequently.

4 Has this been typical of me for a long time? (Note here that the vast majority of people who have ADHD have had substantial symptoms by age 12.)

Answer. As far back as my embarrassed memory will allow me to go, yes.

5. Is there no other obvious explanation, such as drug addiction, a head injury, a sleep disorder, or--we really hope not--early signs of dementia?

Answer. Does this count? Once as a child I was totally soaked inside a cloud of DDT that was dropped from a biplane spraying for an insect infestation. It caused in me a strange form of childhood epilepsy: Time sped up, then slowed down. The nearby receded into the distance, then returned. As for dementia as a cause, could it instead be a symptom?

6. Have these issues caused me clear problems in my work and/or relationships? 

Answer. Why, yes, now that I think of it. I would be a retired scientist about now had I been able to focus for extended periods (longer than, say, five seconds) on those three-inch-thick text books. Relationships? Difficulty listening, and being distracted by everything and anything, doesn't help.

7. Do I have any (and possibly many) close relatives also suffering from chronic distraction and impulsivity? 

Answer. Nope. It must be the DDT.
​
This explanation of many of my life-long struggles is a thrill to contemplate. I'm serious. I've always loved to understand things--everything and anything--and now the fog of my own life is thinning. It's wonderful.

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9Lynn Tait, Barbara Green, Meredith Moeckel and 6 others
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Stan Burfield People who read this are assuming I'm just joking, I'm assuming. Well, for once I'm right and everybody else is wrong.
Like · Reply · 1 · 8 March at 15:28 · Edited

Meredith Moeckel I don't know why anyone who has taken the time to read through this post would think that you are joking Stan....and to be totally honest, I am puzzled by this last comment of yours. Have you ever seen a psychiatrist before (just curious, and naturally, you do not need to answer....I'm just trying to understand where you're coming from)?
Like · Reply · 8 March at 17:08

Stan Burfield No, I never have. I spent my whole life diagnosing and trying to treat myself. It didn't really work. For instance, I tried to treat shyness by forcing myself to do something that was extremely difficult, with the idea that it would make me stronger. T...See more
Like · Reply · 8 March at 21:37 · Edited

Stan Burfield Meredith Moeckel And about my first comment above, uh, I guess you could say that it is the joke. ha ha. Well, it was funny to me anyway, but that's my sense of humour.
Like · Reply · 8 March at 18:39

Meredith Moeckel I will reply to this tomorrow. As I've said many times I just can't type much from my cell. So I'm hoping to remember to come back to this whenever I'm on my laptop tomorrow. Sweet dreams for now.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 8 March at 21:01