Just before my stroke, I was afraid Linda might have the worst cancer going, pancreatic. Luckily it turned out to be something else, we’re not sure what yet, but if it had been pancreatic cancer she wouldn’t have had more than a year to live.
In my case, I certainly didn’t think I was close to being stroke material. For a long time, my diet and exercise habits have been better than average. But I’ve ignored the big third factor, stress, at my peril. Actually, instead of reducing it in my retirement, I’ve dramatically increased my stress load by becoming a social organizer, not an easy job for a shy person. During the open mic’s first couple of years, my stress was often so high I worried about having a heart attack. But I got through that. And finally, during the last season, the fourth, I felt like I was coasting: I was much less shy, thanks to forcing myself out into the social world all that time, and I seemed to be less anxious in general. However, it looks like that kind of long-term stress builds itself into the body; it’s very telling that it was during this last week of worry about Linda that I had this mini-stroke.
Anyway, we’ve both survived, and now we’re seriously working on our lives, hoping to reverse these problems before it’s too late. And that is possible. People who survive their first heart attack or mini-strokes often live long healthy lives simply because they start off in a fresh new direction after hitting rock bottom.
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Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Stan and Linda , you got this ❤️ Stay Strong and Positive :)
Unlike · Reply · 4 · 2 August at 19:43
Albert Katz damn it... time to get stress free; meditate mebbe; long baths; stop organizing;
Like · Reply · 1 · 2 August at 19:53
Stan Burfield Yeah, I'm thinking about all those points.
Like · Reply · 2 · 2 August at 19:59
Stan Burfield Thanks, Melissa!
Like · Reply · 2 August at 20:01
Larry Burfield I've had a triple bypass and a stroke, and still going and enjoying life. It is an awakening experience on remembering to enjoy all our blessings every day!
Like · Reply · 2 · 2 August at 20:10
Stan Burfield I hope it works for me like it did for you.
Like · Reply · 2 August at 23:30
Larry Burfield I am sure it will. Just stay positive and take time to "smell the flowers" I am confident that you and Linda as a team, have lots of good years ahead!
Like · Reply · 1 · 3 August at 00:23
Stan Burfield Thanks, Larry!
Like · Reply · 3 August at 00:30
Larry Burfield I was thinking last night I was in Hawaii when I first realized I had problems. I was walking after having breakfast and got pains for a moment then felt good. When I got home I went to the Doctors clinic and they took it seriously, but I passed all tests. They sent me to Calgary for some more tests and they found a problem and I had my bypass done 3 days later. I didn't have a heart attack, but I guess very close to having one. Home in 6 days, and then good for 10 years. My stroke was more of a challenge, as it was 77 days in hospital, and then a year of out patient therapy, but now have a fun enjoyable life that I am very appreciative of EVERY day
Like · Reply · 3 August at 11:43
Stan Burfield Yes, I've been noticing from your posts on Facebook how much you've been enjoying life. It's been a revelation to me and I didn't even know about your heart and stroke problems! Now that I do, it's all the more valuable a lesson on living.
Like · Reply · 1 · 3 August at 12:25
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Karen Troxler Looking good Stan and Linda. We are behind you 100 percent.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 2 August at 20:28
Danny Wootton Im glad you guys have figured out what is going on, still along way to go!!!!
Like · Reply · 1 · 2 August at 20:28
Stan Burfield Thanks, Danny. Yes, 20 years at least. Both my parents died in their mid 80s.
Like · Reply · 2 August at 20:38
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MaryLee Bragg Good health to both of you.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 2 August at 20:48
Donald Brackett live long and prosper.
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 2 August at 21:00
Scott Alderson Be careful you two, the World needs your wisdom, keep it simple!
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 2 August at 21:20
Pearl Pirie oh my, what a rough shake up. glad you can correct course.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 2 August at 21:56
Donna Allard take care of yourself <3
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 2 August at 22:37
William Lloyd · Friends with Danny Wootton
My best to you both. I started serious cycling about 3 years ago shed 25 lbs of unwanted weight and I haven't looked back. It also dropped my stress levels in a big way. Take care of each be safe. Bill. <3
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 2 August at 22:44
Stan Burfield Thanks, William.
Like · Reply · 2 August at 23:07
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Aldous Richards Best of health to both of you.
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 2 August at 22:45
Tina Pickard Hope you are both feeling a lot better now.
Like · Reply · 2 August at 23:24
Stan Burfield Yes, we just got back from the cafe. Wandered back slowly on this perfect evening. Walked past the neighbourhood skunk in a lawn and he didn't bother with us. Trust a skunk to spice up a walk, one way or another.
Like · Reply · 1 · 2 August at 23:29
Tina Pickard Ha Ha ! am glad you are enjoying our wonderful summer.We have a neighborhood skunk as well, he waits on Friday and Saturday nights on the porch to see if our kids come home after being to the bars.
Like · Reply · 2 August at 23:32
Stan Burfield Ha ha. Funny!
Like · Reply · 1 · 2 August at 23:35
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Fran Figge Good luck to you both with healthy steps forward.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 2 August at 23:38
Violetta Josefina Martinez Wow! Sorry to hear about these health problems. Always good to get a warnung though so you can try and fix them Wishing you both the best of health. Enjoy life!
Like · Reply · 3 August at 01:53
Yvonne Maggs A sure sign of too much stress, please take time to relax more...can't be without you two people in the world...
Like · Reply · 1 · 3 August at 07:09
Meredith Moeckel Wow! What a cruel wake up call for sure! I didn't know that stress contributes to a stroke possibility. I'm so friggin stressed I'd better watch out. I'm glad that you and Linda are both turning negatives into positives. Please take good care of yourselves! ! HUGS! !
Like · Reply · 3 August at 09:49
Stan Burfield Thanks, Meredith!
Like · Reply · 1 · 3 August at 12:10
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Shelly Harder Take care, Stan
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 3 August at 10:13
Charlene Jones meditation for everyone, Stan and Linda
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 3 August at 10:43
Marina Verdi Be well.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 3 August at 11:55
Brandi Michielsen So glad it was a mini. Thanks for sharing Stan, as we all need to take heed of our physical stress levels and way of maintaining our health.
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 3 August at 12:05
Robert Gregory Seaton Take care of both of yourselves. Less stress and more walks in the woods.
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 3 August at 12:29
Stan Burfield Absolutely!
Like · Reply · 3 August at 12:32
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Margaret Gunning One of the hardest aspects of turning your health around (especially stress-wise) is that some people have come to expect a certain level of "performance" from you and find it very hard to let go of that. They can even make subtly disparaging remarks or treat you like you're about to fall apart because you are (in their estimation) "slowing down". The implication is that you couldn't cope and had to back down. The real problem is that they can't get the same level of work out of you, and will do whatever they can to get you back on the merry-go-round, including guilt trips and "oh, come on" statements. They also tend to believe it's easy to reduce stress if you just put your mind to it. Not everyone will react that way - some will be incredibly supportive and even relieved (those who are really paying attention). I think those who insist on the agenda have their own agenda for themselves, and don't want to know about it. When YOU make changes, it reminds them that they are not.
Like · Reply · 3 August at 13:45
Stan Burfield Thanks for this eye-opener, Margaret. I guess everybody, at some time, has to go through this slowing down and feeling like they're not holding up their own, and having others pissed off at them for it, Even I feel like that, and this poetry organization wouldn't even exist if not for me, so you wouldn't think I would feel like I was letting others down, but I do. That sense of responsibility is very strong once it gets ahold of you. It's like a mother having a baby. Yeah, we sure are tightly bound to each other in so many ways, by some very powerful instincts, I guess. We seem to be competing with each other even within groups of cooperating individuals. (Competing to cooperate? Ha ha, maybe.) So that when you can't hold up your end, you not only let down the group, but you feel like you are a loser in competing with the others to be the best cooperator? I don't know. I'm just rambling. I'm so new to this socializing world that it's all still astonishing to me. I can never quite seem to get my head around it.
Like · Reply · 3 August at 14:08
Margaret Gunning I think people do try to help, but some impose their own beliefs because it's uncomfortable for them to witness what is happening to you. Sorry if I sound like a know-it-all, but it comes from often-bitter experience! In my case it's (gasp!) mental illness, and you can imagine people's reaction to that. If you feel medically/emotionally vulnerable, I think it's inappropriate and not helpful to be drowned in advice. If I ever hear "everything happens for a reason" again, I will scream! Really, I want to ask them, "Give me five examples out of your own life". It makes no sense at all to me, not when babies die, when earthquakes wipe out whole communities, etc. Reasons? The other thing is the unwarranted medical advice - oh boy - the "throw away those pills!" thing, the turmeric, the milk thistle and (most of all) meditation. I don't think there is anything wrong with these things and they may have worked for that individual, but the advice is never prefaced with "I believe. . . " It's presented as gospel truth, so that if you're not following it, you're not participating fully in your own recovery. There is a sense with some people that if they offer their own wonky cure and you don't follow it, well then,"I've done all I can do to help them, and if they don't want to be well, it's their own business." I think it's helpful to keep in mind that your illness/condition can bring out their "stuff", and though some of it is meant to be helpful, it usually isn't.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 3 August at 14:32
Margaret Gunning Not that I'm telling you what to do! I can appreciate how difficult this all is and how hard it's hitting you. You're very likely coping much better than you think you are. My two cents' worth, only!
Like · Reply · 3 August at 14:34
Stan Burfield Margaret Gunning I totally agree with you, Margaret. The big problem in most of our lives, which contributes to our medical problems, if not causes them, is that we don't have control of our lives. We're constantly doing what we think we're "supposed" to be doing, what will make others happy. We just assume that making them happy will make us happy too, in the end, but actually it just amounts to throwing ourselves away, continually. Same when they give us advice and think we should take it: instead of taking their advice, no matter how good it is, what we really need to do for ourselves is to ignore their advice and make up our own advice for our selves. To take control away from others. Then we won't be running around in a panic all the time, like a (excuse my farm imagery) cow being chased by a horsefly.
Like · Reply · 1 · 3 August at 15:05
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Sharon LaFrenz Thanks for this post, as I know it will be helpful to many people. You two are each other's best coach!
Like · Reply · 3 August at 14:21
David Stones It's a cliche but I mean it: thanks for sharing...😍😍😍.....It can be tough out there. Love each other. Hold on. More cliches, I know, but fact is we don't know what's coming. So I think the answer to all this is....well.....just hold on...and love each other.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 3 August at 20:03
Stan Burfield Well said, David.
Like · Reply · 3 August at 23:01
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Andrew Thomas Awad Good thinking mr. Burfield. I had a massive stroke/my life changed overnight/ i was lucky to survive, and Al hamdulillah, you have too.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 4 August at 07:25
Penn Kemp Blessings, blessings!
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 4 August at 09:59
Patricia Black Stan - so glad this was just a warning. Now - do stay well, both you and Linda. All good wishes to you two.
Like · Reply · 4 August at 23:42
Stan Burfield Thanks, Patricia.
Like · Reply · 4 August at 23:51