In remembering an incident from your past, the kind that causes acute mental pain, anguish, regret, you remember it as a friend would hear it if you told the story to them. What if YOU could recall it that way? Learn to.
In this sense you could say there are two ways of looking at a bad memory--either through all that hurt it contains once again, or as a human story. The audience can only see it the second way, and maybe learning to see it through the eyes of others is a way out of the overwhelming personal horror of the memory. Maybe. This is reminiscent of the old idea of the writer who writes a perfect description of the most cherished memory of his life, only to find that he can no longer remember it, only his words of descri[tion.
In sum, maybe we need to do the opposite to holding our pain inside, to refusing to pollute others with its negativity. We need to struggle to put the horrific situation and the pain it caused into the best possible description and then tell it to someone, or write it down and post it on Facebook. That way, we have removed it from ourselves, from its secret hiding place inside, from where it continually infests our minds. We've turned it into a sculpture, something that anyone can look at, relate to, and learn from. Including ourselves. It is then just another interesting part of our lives.
To read all the comments, press "Read More"...............................................................................
From Facebook: Likes......12....Meredith Moeckel, Aldous Richards and 10 others
Comments
Linda Eva Williams So you're saying, there are two sides to every story. I believe you're right.
Like · Reply · 1 · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield Two ways of looking at it, either through all the hurt once again, or as a human story. The audience can only see it the second way, and maybe learning to see it through the eyes of others is a way out of the overwhelming personal horror of the memory....See more
Like · Reply · 3 · 21 hrs · Edited
Linda Eva Williams Yes - objectivity is what you're referring to?
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield Similar. There is your own struggle to view the memory objectively, which is very difficult. But if you look back into it from the eyes of someone you told it to, it is now objective in the sense that it is outside of your subjective immersion in the p...See more
Like · Reply · 2 · 21 hrs
Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Yes I think you hit the hammer on the head Stan ... Seeing the story unfurled through the eyes of the other as though you were watching a movie playing in your mind . This does remove some of the sting perspectively 🌹
Like · Reply · 2 · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield exactly!
Like · Reply · 1 · 21 hrs
Linda Eva Williams I believe that is why people see therapists (Psychiatrists, psychologists). I also believe this is why cognitive therapy works (you examine your troubles as if you are an objective other, even though it is you, and achieve a degree of impartiality and liberation). No self-condemnation, just wisdom.
Unlike · Reply · 3 · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield Yes, I think you're right. So I've thought up a CBT technique. ha ha.
Like · Reply · 3 · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield In sum, maybe we need to do the opposite of holding our pain inside, refusing to pollute others with its negativity. We need to struggle to put the horrific situation and the pain it caused into the best possible description and then tell it to someone, or write it down and post it on Facebook. That way we have removed it from ourselves, from its secret hiding place inside us from where it continually infests our minds. We've turned it into a sculpture, something that anyone can look at, relate to, and learn from. Including ourselves. It is then just another interesting part of our lives.
Like · Reply · 2 · 20 hrs · Edited
Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Perhaps that's where blogging comes in ....
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 21 hrs
Linda Eva Williams "We're only as sick as our secrets", right?
Like · Reply · 20 hrs
Stan Burfield ha ha. Very concisely put.
Like · Reply · 20 hrs
Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Or the writing of a book.....
Like · Reply · 1 · 21 hrs
Linda Eva Williams Please PM me - I would like, with your permission, to understand what has caused you such pain. Or, a poem would do...
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Or a puppet show ....
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Linda Eva Williams Ha ha, I think puppets are perfect conduits to truth whilst coming across as light-hearted. As with stand-up comedians and so on. I see we are overlapping our comments!
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield I think you're right.
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield The puppet show would have to illustrate a very painful situation. But sure.
Like · Reply · 1 · 21 hrs
Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Absolutely it would be an epic show ....
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield ha ha. It would be astonishing.
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Margaret Gunning I think if we could, for one moment, "see ourselves as others see us", we would have MUCH more compassion for ourselves. Hardly anyone else beats up on us as badly as we beat up on ourselves.
Unlike · Reply · 4 · 18 hrs
Sharon Wise Stan: Just last night I was thinking about the fact that people pay good money to see on film the stories of horror and pain that some of us have hidden inside.Writing one's own story is very important and sharing that story is very important even though it may take us to another vulnerable and fragile place.Part of the reason some people don't share their horror is the fact that they fear the listener will not believe them and that causes even greater pain.In my prose and poetry I have touched on some of the painful situations that are part of my tapestry but I haven't entered into the deepest places.Almost every day I relive some of the moments and for some reason this occurs while I am at the kitchen sink,washing dishes and looking out of the window.Thank you Stan Burfield for posting this.It is the impetus I needed to get it all down on paper. Perhaps we could start a collective blog?
Like · Reply · 1 · 12 hrs
Stan Burfield Hey!! That's really a good idea! Sharon, why don't you reword this and add to it, maybe including a little of my idea above, into a rationally for a blog, and we'll promote it and see how people feel, or just dive right in. I would suggest it maybe have two parts, a traditional blog, which would include an organizational and storage ability (like categories, etc) and a Facebook page, which would attract more comment. That's what I do with our open mic postings. After a posting has run its course on Facebook in terms of comments, I paste the whole thing on the blog. What do you think? You want to do it?
Like · Reply · 7 hrs
Tina Pickard Whatever we choose to do it would have to be fun. Therefor it is worth while. There are so many ways to cull fun from life, it isn't even funny.I am dedicated to removing all forms of tension.
Like · Reply · 8 hrs
Jenny Getsinger Stan, sometimes I think you could put books together of collections of your short essays and thoughts on life. Have you thought of that?
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 8 hrs
Stan Burfield I have, but think of the amount of work and time that would take! And how much writing I could get done instead!
Like · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs
Karen Troxler Wise words if we listen.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs
Comments
Linda Eva Williams So you're saying, there are two sides to every story. I believe you're right.
Like · Reply · 1 · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield Two ways of looking at it, either through all the hurt once again, or as a human story. The audience can only see it the second way, and maybe learning to see it through the eyes of others is a way out of the overwhelming personal horror of the memory....See more
Like · Reply · 3 · 21 hrs · Edited
Linda Eva Williams Yes - objectivity is what you're referring to?
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield Similar. There is your own struggle to view the memory objectively, which is very difficult. But if you look back into it from the eyes of someone you told it to, it is now objective in the sense that it is outside of your subjective immersion in the p...See more
Like · Reply · 2 · 21 hrs
Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Yes I think you hit the hammer on the head Stan ... Seeing the story unfurled through the eyes of the other as though you were watching a movie playing in your mind . This does remove some of the sting perspectively 🌹
Like · Reply · 2 · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield exactly!
Like · Reply · 1 · 21 hrs
Linda Eva Williams I believe that is why people see therapists (Psychiatrists, psychologists). I also believe this is why cognitive therapy works (you examine your troubles as if you are an objective other, even though it is you, and achieve a degree of impartiality and liberation). No self-condemnation, just wisdom.
Unlike · Reply · 3 · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield Yes, I think you're right. So I've thought up a CBT technique. ha ha.
Like · Reply · 3 · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield In sum, maybe we need to do the opposite of holding our pain inside, refusing to pollute others with its negativity. We need to struggle to put the horrific situation and the pain it caused into the best possible description and then tell it to someone, or write it down and post it on Facebook. That way we have removed it from ourselves, from its secret hiding place inside us from where it continually infests our minds. We've turned it into a sculpture, something that anyone can look at, relate to, and learn from. Including ourselves. It is then just another interesting part of our lives.
Like · Reply · 2 · 20 hrs · Edited
Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Perhaps that's where blogging comes in ....
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 21 hrs
Linda Eva Williams "We're only as sick as our secrets", right?
Like · Reply · 20 hrs
Stan Burfield ha ha. Very concisely put.
Like · Reply · 20 hrs
Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Or the writing of a book.....
Like · Reply · 1 · 21 hrs
Linda Eva Williams Please PM me - I would like, with your permission, to understand what has caused you such pain. Or, a poem would do...
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Or a puppet show ....
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Linda Eva Williams Ha ha, I think puppets are perfect conduits to truth whilst coming across as light-hearted. As with stand-up comedians and so on. I see we are overlapping our comments!
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield I think you're right.
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield The puppet show would have to illustrate a very painful situation. But sure.
Like · Reply · 1 · 21 hrs
Cambridge N Calvin Keenan Absolutely it would be an epic show ....
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Stan Burfield ha ha. It would be astonishing.
Like · Reply · 21 hrs
Margaret Gunning I think if we could, for one moment, "see ourselves as others see us", we would have MUCH more compassion for ourselves. Hardly anyone else beats up on us as badly as we beat up on ourselves.
Unlike · Reply · 4 · 18 hrs
Sharon Wise Stan: Just last night I was thinking about the fact that people pay good money to see on film the stories of horror and pain that some of us have hidden inside.Writing one's own story is very important and sharing that story is very important even though it may take us to another vulnerable and fragile place.Part of the reason some people don't share their horror is the fact that they fear the listener will not believe them and that causes even greater pain.In my prose and poetry I have touched on some of the painful situations that are part of my tapestry but I haven't entered into the deepest places.Almost every day I relive some of the moments and for some reason this occurs while I am at the kitchen sink,washing dishes and looking out of the window.Thank you Stan Burfield for posting this.It is the impetus I needed to get it all down on paper. Perhaps we could start a collective blog?
Like · Reply · 1 · 12 hrs
Stan Burfield Hey!! That's really a good idea! Sharon, why don't you reword this and add to it, maybe including a little of my idea above, into a rationally for a blog, and we'll promote it and see how people feel, or just dive right in. I would suggest it maybe have two parts, a traditional blog, which would include an organizational and storage ability (like categories, etc) and a Facebook page, which would attract more comment. That's what I do with our open mic postings. After a posting has run its course on Facebook in terms of comments, I paste the whole thing on the blog. What do you think? You want to do it?
Like · Reply · 7 hrs
Tina Pickard Whatever we choose to do it would have to be fun. Therefor it is worth while. There are so many ways to cull fun from life, it isn't even funny.I am dedicated to removing all forms of tension.
Like · Reply · 8 hrs
Jenny Getsinger Stan, sometimes I think you could put books together of collections of your short essays and thoughts on life. Have you thought of that?
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 8 hrs
Stan Burfield I have, but think of the amount of work and time that would take! And how much writing I could get done instead!
Like · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs
Karen Troxler Wise words if we listen.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs
RSS Feed