Today I threw myself around, lunging
from one little job
finally staggered out, rubbing wooden eyes, past
Linda lying softly on the couch
saying soothingly as I passed
why don’t you take a cloth and put it in
hot water and lay it on your eyes.
It will relax them.
I was too stressed to listen
until I came around
through the kitchen two more times; and she said
just go lie down in the dark a few minutes.
Really, the hot cloth will relax them.
Around and back again from the kitchen,
I said OK but it’ll just get cold right away.
She said take in a big bowl of hot water, then.
Lying in the bedroom, eyes shut,
unable to do anything, with this heat burning
into them, I told myself just stay here in this one place. Don’t
move. Until the cloth gets cold and then just reheat it. And
stay here some more.
Well, where am I going anyway.
It’s not like I’m young and have an unknown life
ahead of me. We’re retired now. Sort of.
I’m not going anywhere anymore. This is it.
I thought of the future leading us out from here.
But it won’t. I’ll be here. In this apartment.
We’re not moving again. This place is where
all the stress of my life has led me to. This
has to be my heaven.
I lay there.
Getting excited now. Restless.