I’ve been trying to decide whether I should stay on as organizer of London Open Mic Poetry. I recently had a mini-stroke, which was largely caused by stress. And organizing the open mic, together with its related events, has caused me far more stress these last four years than I should have put myself through at my age. So, if I’m going to survive this adventure, I must either quit right now or seriously manage my stress level.
And stress isn’t the only cause of strokes and heart disease. There are three main factors involved.
The big one is diet. Actually I eat quite well. I’m addicted to fruit so I eat a lot of it, and I love vegetables as well. Both are good for the arteries. And, luckily, hamburger is revolting to me, and I’m not crazy about any other kind of beef either. I eat chicken breast (which is not too bad) but only because I always thought I had to eat some kind of meat. My big downfall is ice cream, but I do a fairly good job of restraining myself.
Exercise is the second big factor. Well, most days I climb the ten flights of our apartment building. Plus, I do a lot more walking than most people do. So I’m okay exercise-wise.
Stress is my big problem. I’ve always been quite anxious, both generally and from shyness. But my stress-load has escalated dramatically these last four years because I’ve been trying to break out of my shyness by confronting my fears of people head on. It’s worked; I’ve lost most of my shyness, and was nearly anxiety-free during the last couple of events. However, at the time I had my mini-stroke I was worried that Linda might have pancreatic cancer. It turned out to be something else, as yet unknown, but, at the time, I was very stressed out by the possibility. And, when the stroke happened, I was on the 9th flight up and pushing myself too hard.
Quitting the open mic should be my obvious next move, even though the organization isn’t quite ready to carry on without me. Two of our most important people have had to leave the city—Shelly Harder and Koral Scott. And we need more time to figure out how it should be led, probably by more than one person. No matter, my personal survival is obviously a lot more important than these petty problems.
What I’ve decided to do, nevertheless, at least for now, is to carry on, and change my lifestyle as much as possible at the same time.
When I'm exercising, I’m not going to push myself at more than the equivalent of a brisk walk. And I’m taking the correct amount of Aspirin, a blood thinner, just in case. And I’m dramatically reducing my stress load. If you’re curious how I’m going to do that, here’s the list:
And quite some time ago I read that it is possible to actually reverse hardening of the arteries, but it’s not easy because all three of the big causal factors have to be tackled simultaneously: diet, exercise and stress. I’m determined.
So there it is. I and the open mic will survive, hopefully, and carry on. AND, because of these changes, I will enjoy the whole thing a lot more than I have. It’s not easy to really enjoy anything that causes too much stress.
From Facebook: likes...15..Amber Dawn Pullin, Carol Reid and 13 others
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Scott Alderson Sounds like you are aware of the changes you need to make to ensure longevity. My own experience with writers groups and volunteer organizations is that they carried on without me because I had created them to be viable without me. I suspect you have done the same. Shyness is difficult to overcome and prevents many great writers from becoming known. Face it, we are naked behind our words when on podium or stage. I took comfort in the hundreds of dead poets that had walked my road before me when I was a busker in Calgary. To quote the band Kansas, "Carry on my wayward son"
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Stan Burfield Good attitude, Scott.
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Larry Burfield Some good planning. I am quite similar in character, and find deadlines are always stressful. I try and stay away from them as much as possible, but some are going to happen. I find taking time to reflect about the good things in our half full glass help me at distressing, and let go of things I can not change, but are going to happen if I can change it or not, and the world does not stop because I can't change it. Life has given us a lot of things to be thankful for!
Like · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs
Stan Burfield That's especially good advice for me!
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Wendi Waters At this moment I realized how much I've taken London Open Mic Poetry. All I have to do is show up. I never thought much about all the organizing that goes on behind the scenes. You've done an amazing job and I, for one, am very grateful. I was very impressed the few times I attended and hope I can step up to give you a hand in the fall. In fact, I am moving to the apartments across the street from Mykonos. So, I hope you ask me for help because I am offering to do what I can, Stan!
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Stan Burfield Great! We'll see how it all goes. Thanks, Wendi!
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Wendi Waters Ok, first sentence supposed to read: At this moment I realized how much I've taken London Open Mic Poetry FOR GRANTED, lol!
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs
Amy Lavender Harris You deserve to be able to enjoy good health. XO.
Like · Reply · 6 hrs
Stan Burfield That's how I see it too. :)
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Meredith Moeckel I really appreciate you sharing your de-stressing plans with us fellow stress ridden folks (Like ME, unfortunately!). I've heard that stress is responsible for approximately 90% of deaths in the US (and I'm sure that it goes without saying that they're referring to illnesses made worse by stress! SCARY!) I am also an extremely anxious person, and sometimes it comes on quite viciously & for no apparent reason, which is really irritating bigtime!! I too want to (re) learn how to meditate, and thankfully there are MANY great sites online where one can learn proper (and some different) techniques. I'll bet that I've signed up for online mediation courses at least 20 +/- times over the past few years, but for whatever reason, I never followed through with any of them. While on this topic, are you already good at meditating, or are you going to take any refresher courses? If the latter, perhaps you can share which site you sign up with (and you can PM me if you like for this info). On another topic, I've asked my primary care doctor if it's good to take a baby aspirin a day, but he maintains that it's not necessary (I asked him about this long time ago, obviously, to help prevent what you went through, or worse!). I've been meaning to research this on my own, but perhaps you can share the reasons that your doctor might have shared w/ you for taking one.....Lastly, I agree with Larry's comment above about letting go of the things we cannot change or control! I have worked diligently to NOT even allow myself to spend energy worrying about things/people I have no control over (Especially @ night when worrying about others!). Sometimes it's not easy to remember to "Let Go, Let God", but it's definitely worth remembering!!! Take care, and good luck!! :)
Like · Reply · 6 hrs
Larry Burfield Meredith, I can relate to a lot of your comments. Re baby aspirin, I was on that for many years. I was diagnosed in 1973 with very high blood pressure, when I was taking a job application medical (225/149) Needless to say I ended up in hospital to find out why, and they never came up with an absolute answer. So the pill companies have loved me ever since. After my stroke 4 years ago, they put me on stronger blood thinners, and a bleed and bruise easy now but I am alive and "smelling the flowers" When coming back to my room and needing a ceiling hoist and a sling to get from my bed to my wheel chair at first, and absolutely no movement in my left arm for over 3 weeks, I feel very fortunate to be able to enjoy life now. Life is not perfect, and I realize I cant make it that way. I would still like to, and have ideas, but nobody knows if they would work. I am able to enjoy my 5 grandchildren, and going to Alberta at the end of this month to celebrate a couple of their birthdays. Since retiring in 2008, I have resided in BC
Like · Reply · 4 hrs
Stan Burfield (Just got back from a going-away party for Shelly Harder.)....Nice to hear both of your stories in dealing with stress. Meredith Moeckel, I'm the kind of person who tends not to ask for advice until I just can't do something on my own, so I've never taken a meditation course, and probably never will. But I have plenty of experience because that's how I often get to sleep at night: I meditatle lying down, and suddenly it's morning. So I'm just doing that sitting up now. :)...By the way, I think you're a lot more anxious than I am. The best thing for someone with your level of anxiety is to take a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It really does work for bad anxiety. Meditation would help you keep yourself at that new level of anxiety once the therapy got you there. The best way is to go to a professional therapist, but you can get it in book form (do it yourself) on Amazon. There are several good ones. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is the only form of therapy for anxiety, depression, etc, that really works. And well. The other therapiesdo to some extent, with some people, often only with the right therapist, etc. .....About Aspirin, if you don't have high blood pressure, it doesn't do you any good, because your arteries aren't reduced in size to the point where a tiny blood clot could block them where they enter the brain or the heart muscle. And you seem to be fairly slim, so you probably don't have hypertension. I was just 30 pounds over the weight I am now and I had quite high blood pressure and had to take pills for it. Then I lost the 30 pounds and my blood pressure came down to normal and I came off the pills. But I'm still about 20 pounds above where I should be, and that combined with high stress and high physical exertion put the blood clot in the artery in my brain. You probably don't have the extra weight, or the extra exertion. Just the stress. But still, with that amount of stress, I would think it would be a good thing to take one baby Aspirin anyway. But your doctor should be able to tell. And you would for sure have to tell him about your stress level. Anyway, for me, even though I have normal blood pressure now, I still had that mini-stroke, so now I'm on two baby Aspirins a day, instead of the one as before.
Like · Reply · 4 mins
Stan Burfield Larry Burfield, as I mentioned to Meredith, my blood pressure went from high to normal just by getting my weight down. I think being overweight is the biggest cause of all these problems. I don't know if your doctor told you that. I think that often they don't bother because they've given up on trying to get people to lose weight. I found out how to do it, if you're interested. I think there's only one way that works, which I happened to stumble on. And it's surprisingly easy done that way.
Like · Reply · Just now
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Elli Kritikos Hope you're doing well I hope you decide what needs to be done health or your passion take care of yourself👍🏼
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 6 hrs · Edited
Andrew Thomas Awad Meditation has always helped me to cope with stress, wishing you, good health and prosperity.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 6 hrs
Yvonne Maggs Sounds like you know what you are doing, so keep up the good work...
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 5 hrs
Carol Reid This all sounds good, good planning, new directions, fewer initiatives, healthy eating, stress management - it can be done, I salute you and understand that it isn't simple or easy. Meditation is simply breathing in and out, you can do it anywhere under any circumstances, lecturing, driving, whatever. If you are interested in autogenic breathing, can give you some pretty goods links. Good luck with all your efforts, Stan.
Like · Reply · 3 hrs · Edited
Stan Burfield Thanks. Never heard of autogenic breathing. I would be interested.
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Violetta Josefina Martinez Good for you! Nothing is easy...
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
And stress isn’t the only cause of strokes and heart disease. There are three main factors involved.
The big one is diet. Actually I eat quite well. I’m addicted to fruit so I eat a lot of it, and I love vegetables as well. Both are good for the arteries. And, luckily, hamburger is revolting to me, and I’m not crazy about any other kind of beef either. I eat chicken breast (which is not too bad) but only because I always thought I had to eat some kind of meat. My big downfall is ice cream, but I do a fairly good job of restraining myself.
Exercise is the second big factor. Well, most days I climb the ten flights of our apartment building. Plus, I do a lot more walking than most people do. So I’m okay exercise-wise.
Stress is my big problem. I’ve always been quite anxious, both generally and from shyness. But my stress-load has escalated dramatically these last four years because I’ve been trying to break out of my shyness by confronting my fears of people head on. It’s worked; I’ve lost most of my shyness, and was nearly anxiety-free during the last couple of events. However, at the time I had my mini-stroke I was worried that Linda might have pancreatic cancer. It turned out to be something else, as yet unknown, but, at the time, I was very stressed out by the possibility. And, when the stroke happened, I was on the 9th flight up and pushing myself too hard.
Quitting the open mic should be my obvious next move, even though the organization isn’t quite ready to carry on without me. Two of our most important people have had to leave the city—Shelly Harder and Koral Scott. And we need more time to figure out how it should be led, probably by more than one person. No matter, my personal survival is obviously a lot more important than these petty problems.
What I’ve decided to do, nevertheless, at least for now, is to carry on, and change my lifestyle as much as possible at the same time.
When I'm exercising, I’m not going to push myself at more than the equivalent of a brisk walk. And I’m taking the correct amount of Aspirin, a blood thinner, just in case. And I’m dramatically reducing my stress load. If you’re curious how I’m going to do that, here’s the list:
- I’m keeping an eye on my anxiety level all the time, and stepping out of what I’m doing when I feel it go up. This is big, and my mini-stroke provides continuous motivation to keep me monitoring it.
- I’m using a Weekly Diary now, so that the full week is open on my desk in front of me all the time. At the bottom of the 2 pages of the week, I’m keeping a list of all the week’s to-dos. Then I enter each into the appropriate day, so I can see them continuously and not have to worry.
- More importantly, for everything I have to do, looking ahead at two month’s worth of events, at everything leading up to and following each one, I’m entering them all in the appropriate days, including when to begin work on them and the deadlines, all well in advance. And any other odd things I have to do are all entered into their days, well in advance, as well. This may seem obvious, but just having them in the book means I don’t have to be constantly worrying if I’m forgetting something, or if I’m late with something. This worry by itself causes a tremendous amount of stress, which builds to burnout by the end of the season.
- I’m getting other committee members to do as much as I can get them to do, to take some of the load off me.
- As difficult as this one may be, I’m going to restrain myself from coming up with new ideas. I’m good at this, and really enjoy it, but inevitably I have to do most of the work on each one myself. So from now on, the new ideas will belong to other people. They think them up, present them to me, I smile, and they do them.
- Meditation. I’ve intended to do this most of my life but have never kept at it for more than a few days. Now’s the time to get into it for good. Something new. A REAL lifestyle change.
And quite some time ago I read that it is possible to actually reverse hardening of the arteries, but it’s not easy because all three of the big causal factors have to be tackled simultaneously: diet, exercise and stress. I’m determined.
So there it is. I and the open mic will survive, hopefully, and carry on. AND, because of these changes, I will enjoy the whole thing a lot more than I have. It’s not easy to really enjoy anything that causes too much stress.
From Facebook: likes...15..Amber Dawn Pullin, Carol Reid and 13 others
11 comments
2 shares
Comments
Scott Alderson Sounds like you are aware of the changes you need to make to ensure longevity. My own experience with writers groups and volunteer organizations is that they carried on without me because I had created them to be viable without me. I suspect you have done the same. Shyness is difficult to overcome and prevents many great writers from becoming known. Face it, we are naked behind our words when on podium or stage. I took comfort in the hundreds of dead poets that had walked my road before me when I was a busker in Calgary. To quote the band Kansas, "Carry on my wayward son"
Unlike · Reply · 2 · 9 hrs
Stan Burfield Good attitude, Scott.
Like · Reply · 9 hrs
Write a reply...
Larry Burfield Some good planning. I am quite similar in character, and find deadlines are always stressful. I try and stay away from them as much as possible, but some are going to happen. I find taking time to reflect about the good things in our half full glass help me at distressing, and let go of things I can not change, but are going to happen if I can change it or not, and the world does not stop because I can't change it. Life has given us a lot of things to be thankful for!
Like · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs
Stan Burfield That's especially good advice for me!
Like · Reply · 6 hrs
Write a reply...
Wendi Waters At this moment I realized how much I've taken London Open Mic Poetry. All I have to do is show up. I never thought much about all the organizing that goes on behind the scenes. You've done an amazing job and I, for one, am very grateful. I was very impressed the few times I attended and hope I can step up to give you a hand in the fall. In fact, I am moving to the apartments across the street from Mykonos. So, I hope you ask me for help because I am offering to do what I can, Stan!
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs
Stan Burfield Great! We'll see how it all goes. Thanks, Wendi!
Like · Reply · 6 hrs
Write a reply...
Wendi Waters Ok, first sentence supposed to read: At this moment I realized how much I've taken London Open Mic Poetry FOR GRANTED, lol!
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 7 hrs
Amy Lavender Harris You deserve to be able to enjoy good health. XO.
Like · Reply · 6 hrs
Stan Burfield That's how I see it too. :)
Like · Reply · 1 · 6 hrs
Write a reply...
Meredith Moeckel I really appreciate you sharing your de-stressing plans with us fellow stress ridden folks (Like ME, unfortunately!). I've heard that stress is responsible for approximately 90% of deaths in the US (and I'm sure that it goes without saying that they're referring to illnesses made worse by stress! SCARY!) I am also an extremely anxious person, and sometimes it comes on quite viciously & for no apparent reason, which is really irritating bigtime!! I too want to (re) learn how to meditate, and thankfully there are MANY great sites online where one can learn proper (and some different) techniques. I'll bet that I've signed up for online mediation courses at least 20 +/- times over the past few years, but for whatever reason, I never followed through with any of them. While on this topic, are you already good at meditating, or are you going to take any refresher courses? If the latter, perhaps you can share which site you sign up with (and you can PM me if you like for this info). On another topic, I've asked my primary care doctor if it's good to take a baby aspirin a day, but he maintains that it's not necessary (I asked him about this long time ago, obviously, to help prevent what you went through, or worse!). I've been meaning to research this on my own, but perhaps you can share the reasons that your doctor might have shared w/ you for taking one.....Lastly, I agree with Larry's comment above about letting go of the things we cannot change or control! I have worked diligently to NOT even allow myself to spend energy worrying about things/people I have no control over (Especially @ night when worrying about others!). Sometimes it's not easy to remember to "Let Go, Let God", but it's definitely worth remembering!!! Take care, and good luck!! :)
Like · Reply · 6 hrs
Larry Burfield Meredith, I can relate to a lot of your comments. Re baby aspirin, I was on that for many years. I was diagnosed in 1973 with very high blood pressure, when I was taking a job application medical (225/149) Needless to say I ended up in hospital to find out why, and they never came up with an absolute answer. So the pill companies have loved me ever since. After my stroke 4 years ago, they put me on stronger blood thinners, and a bleed and bruise easy now but I am alive and "smelling the flowers" When coming back to my room and needing a ceiling hoist and a sling to get from my bed to my wheel chair at first, and absolutely no movement in my left arm for over 3 weeks, I feel very fortunate to be able to enjoy life now. Life is not perfect, and I realize I cant make it that way. I would still like to, and have ideas, but nobody knows if they would work. I am able to enjoy my 5 grandchildren, and going to Alberta at the end of this month to celebrate a couple of their birthdays. Since retiring in 2008, I have resided in BC
Like · Reply · 4 hrs
Stan Burfield (Just got back from a going-away party for Shelly Harder.)....Nice to hear both of your stories in dealing with stress. Meredith Moeckel, I'm the kind of person who tends not to ask for advice until I just can't do something on my own, so I've never taken a meditation course, and probably never will. But I have plenty of experience because that's how I often get to sleep at night: I meditatle lying down, and suddenly it's morning. So I'm just doing that sitting up now. :)...By the way, I think you're a lot more anxious than I am. The best thing for someone with your level of anxiety is to take a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It really does work for bad anxiety. Meditation would help you keep yourself at that new level of anxiety once the therapy got you there. The best way is to go to a professional therapist, but you can get it in book form (do it yourself) on Amazon. There are several good ones. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is the only form of therapy for anxiety, depression, etc, that really works. And well. The other therapiesdo to some extent, with some people, often only with the right therapist, etc. .....About Aspirin, if you don't have high blood pressure, it doesn't do you any good, because your arteries aren't reduced in size to the point where a tiny blood clot could block them where they enter the brain or the heart muscle. And you seem to be fairly slim, so you probably don't have hypertension. I was just 30 pounds over the weight I am now and I had quite high blood pressure and had to take pills for it. Then I lost the 30 pounds and my blood pressure came down to normal and I came off the pills. But I'm still about 20 pounds above where I should be, and that combined with high stress and high physical exertion put the blood clot in the artery in my brain. You probably don't have the extra weight, or the extra exertion. Just the stress. But still, with that amount of stress, I would think it would be a good thing to take one baby Aspirin anyway. But your doctor should be able to tell. And you would for sure have to tell him about your stress level. Anyway, for me, even though I have normal blood pressure now, I still had that mini-stroke, so now I'm on two baby Aspirins a day, instead of the one as before.
Like · Reply · 4 mins
Stan Burfield Larry Burfield, as I mentioned to Meredith, my blood pressure went from high to normal just by getting my weight down. I think being overweight is the biggest cause of all these problems. I don't know if your doctor told you that. I think that often they don't bother because they've given up on trying to get people to lose weight. I found out how to do it, if you're interested. I think there's only one way that works, which I happened to stumble on. And it's surprisingly easy done that way.
Like · Reply · Just now
Write a reply...
Elli Kritikos Hope you're doing well I hope you decide what needs to be done health or your passion take care of yourself👍🏼
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 6 hrs · Edited
Andrew Thomas Awad Meditation has always helped me to cope with stress, wishing you, good health and prosperity.
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 6 hrs
Yvonne Maggs Sounds like you know what you are doing, so keep up the good work...
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 5 hrs
Carol Reid This all sounds good, good planning, new directions, fewer initiatives, healthy eating, stress management - it can be done, I salute you and understand that it isn't simple or easy. Meditation is simply breathing in and out, you can do it anywhere under any circumstances, lecturing, driving, whatever. If you are interested in autogenic breathing, can give you some pretty goods links. Good luck with all your efforts, Stan.
Like · Reply · 3 hrs · Edited
Stan Burfield Thanks. Never heard of autogenic breathing. I would be interested.
Like · Reply · Just now
Write a reply...
Violetta Josefina Martinez Good for you! Nothing is easy...
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
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